


Discount

by fawnsbee



Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Fake Relationship, KINDA au? i guess? just imagine that avocato is here. he is fine., M/M, There will be fluff, multi chapter . and maybe this time i will actually finish it !!, no i have no idea how ill end this! but alas. this lets me write this however long i want, slowburn, some time after gary adopts little cato, then REAL relationship, there will be angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 22:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fawnsbee/pseuds/fawnsbee
Summary: People love giving wedding gifts away for free. Good thing Gary and Avocato look like the perfect couple and Clarence loves getting things for free.





	Discount

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU HERO FOR THIS IDEA . I OWE YOU MY LIFE!!!!
> 
> dedicated to my girlfriend, hero, and the garycato discord :3!!!

The Crimson Light landed on an extremely small planet. Clarence stressed the necessity of stopping as soon as A.V.A. announced they were in the Shopkeep region. A few tents were pitched on the surface, brightly colored and shiny.

“The Shopkeep has absolutely _wonderful_ deals… Depending on your circumstances.” He muttered this last sentence with disdain, rolling his eyes. “To _fulfill_ the circumstances… I’ll need to take two of you with me.” Gary, who was busy playing cards with Avocato, immediately piped up and shouted “Not me!”, which was followed by Avocato’s own “Also not me.” Clarence crossed his arms, sighing.

“Well, unless you want me to kick you off this ship, I suggest you _do_ come with me.”

“Ha!” Gary slammed down four-of-a-kind to the table. “You say that like you’d be able to kick _either_ of us off.” Avocato calmly slid his straight flush to Gary, smirking.

“You’re not that big Clarence, I could punt you out of this ship before you’d even lay a hand on me,” the Ventrexian said, turning on the bench seat to face the conman.

“Don’t doubt me, cat. Now hurry up, I want to get down there before the shops close.” Gary and Avocato sighed in unison, boxing their cards. “Oh! And bring Little Cato for authenticity.”

* * *

Little Cato bolted eagerly between shops. Trinkets glittered on shelves and counters, and Gary would’ve loved to see if anybody had any Earth items, but they were being dragged by Clarence to one tent specifically.

“Now, when we get there, you two stay absolutely _silent_. Let me do the talking, just look pretty. And get that boy over here, he’s a key part of this!” Avocato called his son to him, who trotted over quickly. They approached the shop, Clarence walking in with confidence. He poked around the shelves, picking up and setting down item after item.

“Welcome!” A voice piped up from behind the counter, and then the shopkeep themself seemed to phase into reality. Gary jumped in surprise, gripping onto Avocato’s arm. “Ah, sorry for scaring you, I like to give my shoppers privacy…”

“But… were you there the whole time?” Avocato said, glancing between the still spooked Gary on his arm and the shopkeep. They nodded. Well, the Ventrexian _assumed_ they were nodding. It was hard to tell with the white fur cloak that covered… All of them.

“Dad!” Both Avocato and Gary turned and responded with a “yeah” to Little Cato. The fur of the shopkeep seemingly perked. The young boy held up a pair of gloves that looked similar to chameleon toes. “They’re sticky gloves!” He slipped one on each paw, and clapped. They did not pull apart when he tried. His face scrunched up with effort as he kept tugging, before nervously glancing up. “Uh… Think I got them stuck…”

“No worries! I have plenty of those!” the shopkeeper announced. “The boy referred to you both as dad, yes?” Avocato and Gary nodded. “Then you must be married!” This was Clarence’s cue. The minute Gary opened his mouth to explain, he jumped in front of him.

“Yes! Yes they are! They just got hitched, actually!”

“Clarence, what are you-” Avocato was silenced with a swift backwards fist to his knee.

“Play along idiot,” he grumbled, barely audible, “They’re on their honeymoon as we speak! I _begged_ them to stop here to see if there were any items that would do them well!” Behind his back, Clarence forced the supposed couple’s hands together. The shopkeep phased through the counter, past a bewildered Avocato, Gary, and Little Cato, and to a shelf with… kitchenware?

“Ah… A new couple needs good appliances… At least, that’s my philosophy…” A fleshy paw reached out from the fur, grabbing—

“Is that a _blender_?” whispered Gary, utterly confused on why this item had Clarence quite literally frothing at the mouth. Avocato scrunched up his nose, glancing at Gary, and then to their conjoined hands. For a moment, he’d wondered why he’d never held his hand before. The moment was short, however, as the shopkeep turned back to face them.

“This item here… This’ll aid you quite well… It has a special engine in it… Blends anything in under a minute…” The more they spoke, the more eager Clarence became. He kicked Gary in the shin.

“_Up it up you two! Make it believable_!” His voice no more than an angry hush. The way to do this was obvious to Gary, and he’d be lying if he said he’d never wanted to try it. He let go of Avocato’s hand, and instead wrapped his arms around his neck.

“I’m gonna jump and you’re gonna catch me in your arms,” he whispered, already prepping.

“I’m going to _what_—“ Gary jumped before he could finish asking, Avocato instinctively catching him, letting out a small ‘oof’ of surprise. The shopkeep turned to face them, murmuring their approval. But Gary wasn’t listening to that. He was listening to the faint rumble that was radiating from Avocato.

“Dude, are you _purring_?”

“No.” Gary opened his mouth to respectfully disagree, but was silenced by Clarence.

“Well, obviously these two lovebirds have their hands full, so I’ll hold onto that for them,” he said, hands literally shaking in excitement as the blender was placed in them. He ran out of the shop, leaving the Catos and Gary with the shopke—, leaving just the Catos and Gary as the shopkeep vanished into thin air.

Little Cato looked his dads up and down, a smug smile forming on his face.

“Happy honeymo—“

“We are _not_ on a honeymoon,” Avocato grumbled, tensing and thus clutching Gary closer. Their son chuckled, crossing his arms.

“Mhm, sure. I mean why else would you be purring—“

“_I am not purring_—“

“—purring while holding Gary, who I might add, you are still holding.” Avocato glanced at the blond in his arms, cheeks puffing in a fluster as he lowered his arms to set him down. Gary’s arms didn’t loosen from the Ventrexian’s neck immediately; instead they lingered along with his eyes on Avocato’s face.

His boots touched the ground and he was standing, filled with growing disappointment that it hadn’t lasted longer. Little Cato rolled his eyes, backing away and turning.

“See ya back at the ship, I’m gonna see if I can steal that blender from Clarence without him noticing!” The boy ran off, Avocato and Gary smiling with pride. Eyes lined up with each other and the pride shifted to something warmer.

Eyes dashed apart.

“So…” Gary nervously glanced up at Avocato, who was trying to figure out how to continue his sentence.

“Mission accomplished?” he suggested, watching his friend nod.

“Yeah, mission accomplished.” Zero enthusiasm. Gary winced. Avocato began walking out of the tent, towards the Crimson Light. His ears flicked as he heard the crunch of Gary’s boots in the sand behind him.

“I didn’t… Go too far, right? Like all that was okay—“

“It was fine, Gary. You don’t weigh much anyways.” There was a _hint_ of humor there, and he could see a small smile on Avocato’s face. The mood could definitely be saved.

“You were definitely purring,” Gary teased, gently knocking his shoulder into the Ventrexian’s.

“Was not.”

“Were too!” The blond flung his arms up. “You were purring like a happy motorcycle.” Avocato sighed, annoyance evident but contradicted by the perking of a smile.

“So what if I was? What does it matter?” His eyes focused on Gary with amusement and genuine question.

“Means you _liiiiiiiiike meeeeee_!” He flashed a toothy grin, cheeks curving at his eyes. Avocato’s fur prickled in surprise, before he forced it flat.

“Mhm, sure I do.” Gary smiled as they boarded the Crimson Light, because no matter how disgruntled his feline friend sounded, he still had a smile.

* * *

Clarence stood on the table, holding the blender as if he were Rafiki, and it Simba.

“This blender… This very special blender… This _extra_… _**Extremely**_—“

“Get to the frickin’ point, dude! We get it! You got the hots for this stupid blender. Could you tell us why?” Gary rolled his eyes, arms folded.

“I’m getting there, _primate_. Have some patience!”

Gary huffed. “Whatever.”

“Anyhow, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted,” Clarence rolled his tongue, “I was going to say that this here blender has a motor in it… That I can sell for three times the price of the blender itself!”

“You got it for free. Three times zero is still zero.” Avocato commented, tail tip flicking in irritation. Nobody understood why this blender required an entire presentation. He could be playing cards with Gary right now. He glanced at him, and he couldn’t help but find his crossed arms and pout… Cute.

He stared for a second too long however, because snapping fingers blocked his view.

“This engine could be sold for thousands of drapnoids, and there are so many other items like it…” Clarence pursed his lips as a wonderful idea blossomed.

“Don’t make that face, Clarence. Stop. **_Clarence_**,” Gary shifted uncomfortably as the conman glared between him and Avocato.

“You two were very useful today… And there are many more places I could acquire such lovely wedding gifts…” He rubbed his palms together, snickering as he jumped off the table, careful not to damage the blender, muttering of where to go next.

Gary ran his metal hand through his hair and down his neck.

“What’d we just get ourselves into?”

“Something probably not good.”

**Author's Note:**

> hehe :3 originally this was gonna be a oneshot and then i galaxy brained and realized this can be an angsty and funny slowburn. also checkout herowlw’s fic “The Bet” PLEASE.


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